Late

Recently becoming a 3L (Third and last year) in law school, a lot of things have changed...mainly my level of caring. Everything else is still the same around me- the level of school work, the expectations of professors...but yet, I'd rather eat lunch for 2 hours than read for class.

Which brings me to today:
After my Family law morning class, 2 of my close friends, Chantal and Lauren, and I were discussing lunch plans at around 12:45. We figured we had plenty of time to eat because we all agreed that our next class started at 2:50. How we arrived at the number "2:50" I'm not entirely too sure of. Being a 3L is a lot like being a senior citizen with an early onset of alzheimer's...you are the oldest person in the school, but yet you recognize no one and have no idea where any of your classes are. My first day of 3L was spent roaming the hallways with a confused look on my face, asking random people how to check the class schedule (a process that had not changed in 3 years).

So we get done with our lunch at the diner off campus at around 2, and figured we'd go to the library to try to skim the reading for that day's class. While in the library I have an online conservation with another friend who's in my class:
Thomas: what the hell is he talkin about?

me: who?

Thomas: bobis

where is this case
Bobis is our professor. Thinking my friend is talking about the syllabus, which is the only logical conclusion in my mind, I tell him about a case that is on the syllabus, but isnt in the book.
me: its not in the book

it just came out

i read it online

but theres a supplement you need to buy

Thomas: yea i dont have it

2:21 pM me: yeah its easy to find

Thomas: whats the case

me: herring v us

Thomas: oh

i read hat

i thought hes talkin about hudson

me: hudson?

2:22 pM Thomas: i thought tats what he said

he said herring?

me: yeah

Thomas: herring is on p 25

he said p 44

At this point I just think my friend is confused, and I'm only half paying attention to what he's saying.
The clock approaches 2:40, and my 2 friends and I decide to go up "a little early." We get to the classroom, look in the window... and see a full classroom. At first we think we're too early, and this is another class. But we slowly recognize people from our class, and then see our teacher teaching.

"Oh ...shit"

We recoil back in horror as we realize that class had already begun. I take out my laptop, check the start time..."1:50." We are an hour late for class.

For 10 minutes, we yell at eachother about what to do...
"We should just go home"
"We should wait for class to end and then go in and apologize"
"We should just go in!!"

Crap--Chantal made up her mind that the best thing to do is just go in now, and apologize later. After giving an inspirational General Patton-eque speech, she walks for the door.
"NOOOO" I cry, she doesnt flinch.

I can't let my comrade go in alone, I step forward. The group mentality sets in and all 3 of us file into the door.

We brave a hail of angry stares to get to random seats in the back of the classroom. We duck down behind our seating areas and take cover behind our opened laptops. My adrenaline is at its peak, my blood pressure is out of control, and I think I'm sweating. I have this conversation with the faithful leader of the group:
me: AHHHHHHH

Chantal: single most awkward moment of my life

i have no idea where i am sitting

3:00 PM Chantal: omg

3:01 PM me: omg

omg omg omg
After the 20 mins left of class we walk up to the professor to explain our situation, and how we got our classes mixed up. The 70 year old professor says that we must have dimensia worse than his, and lets us go without marking us down for an absense.

Victory...but at what cost???

A Few Good Macs

A Few Good Men--great movie, one of the finest courtroom dramas. But I caught it on TV tonight and noticed something. In the midst of the film's climax, the murder trial, where Tom Cruise and Kevin Bacon are battling back and forth over a man's innocence, a witness is called. The witness is played by Cuba Gooding Junior. His character's name is.... "Corporal Hamburger".

Corporal Hamburger is called by his name several times during his testimony by Tom Cruise. With each utterence of "Corporal Hamburger", the film loses a little bit of its seriousness to me. I mean...who the the hell is Corporal Hamburger?! Is he a soldier with a hamburger for a head and seseme seeds for eyes? Does he have a gun with french fries for bullets? When the writers were writing the script, and reached the trial scene...were they high and eating Burger King? They couldve used any last name available in the whole world--and they chose Hamburger. It might be the most brilliant name in movie history.

Reflections on the South

After completing my cross-country drive through the heartland of America, I have drawn some conclusions about the land of God's country.

The clothes:
The standard uniform for every blue collar white southern man is simple:
1. You start with a pair of slightly muddy work boots
2. Above those are the light denim pair of walmart bought wranglers
3. Tucked into those bad boys is a dirty t-shirt with the logo of the place they work.. or some kind of gun club--in the shade of white, brown, or black
4. all this is topped off with a dirty baseball cap, preferably camoflage

The food:
Every meal is unhealthy. If you order a potato, it must be deep fried in lard and slathered with butter. If you order a piece of chicken, it must be breaded, fried, and served with a side-bowl of ranch dressing. If you order a waffle, the batter must a half/half mixture of sugar and butter, and then topped with butter and sugar. If you order a salad or anything under 5,000 calories, you just get a blank stare.

The food though, as a result, is delicious. I'm surprised I made it out without developing a cholesterol induced heart murmur.

The people:
As a result of thousands of hours of bible study and sermons, the people are pretty nice. Eye contact is an immediate invitation to a "hello ya'll." And a "hello ya'll" back is an invitation to a conversation about the weather. Lucky, being a traveler, the kindness of these people were a valuable resource to gain information about short-cuts or the location of the best feed-hole within 50 miles.

Other things:
1. Every other billboard is about god, jesus or an ad for a gun show
2. Its extremely and uncomfortably hot and humid--I think the southern united states is 80% swamp
3. Every car is American made---and has a minimum of 3 bumper stickers...which are usually about liberals or what they'll do to drivers who ride too close to them

All in all though, it was a pretty fun place, a good experience, and an interesting insight into this county. Mix and match some clothes, some ingrained ideals, a gun rack or two, and you have anyone in the U.S.