waitor

9:36am: Sam: i gotta shower in a bit and speak with two managers for olive garden

9:36am Andrew: what?

9:36am Sam: and ramparts
about waitoring

9:36am Andrew: waitering?

9:36am Sam: im gonna waitor
if i get hired

9:36am Andrew: what?
why?

9:36am Sam: for the money

9:37am Sam: fuck i spelled waiter wrong on the applications

Dropping Like Flies

I was on the plane to Las Vegas when I heard a woman in the adjacent seat describe her family as "dropping like flies." I hear that expression all the time but just the way she said it in a know-it-all way made me think--what the hell does that expression mean?

Flies are hard to kill, unless you're the karate kid. You try to swat them and they fly away, unscathed and emboldened by the experience. And you definitely never see a group of flies buzzing together...and then dropping dead one by one right before your eyes.

So what did she mean? What this woman REALLY meant by that expression is that members of her family buzzed around a plate in her kitchen, she shooed them away, and then found her uncle dead on her window sill two weeks later.

"Yep I found Uncle Bill just curled up there behind the blinds. That wasn't as bad as Cousin Gary though.....yeah, eaten by a toad."

Sin City

I moved out to Las Vegas about 2 months ago to work for the summer. When I first got the job I was like "ok, vegas seems fun on TV... I've seen good things on bachelor party episodes of sitcoms, this could be cool."

Oh how wrong I was.

In the movies and on television, they use crafty camera angles and quick panning shots to make the city of Las Vegas seem huge and fun. Its pretty effective, especially when done to the tune of a classic rock song about partying or staying up late.

But in reality, Las Vegas as you know it--is just one street of fun things. Go beyond that one street, and theres trailers, sand, and overly tan vagrant-type people. Outside of that street everything is either a condo or a franchise restaurant. The locals go to TGIFridays for beer instead of ..real bars. Bars are supposed to be places where you have a beer with friends to have a good time..or go by yourself to hate your life...but the locals are at the franchise bars to eat Hawaiian Burgers and look at shit on the walls. Its insane to me. I've always liked new looking buildings and clean looking eating establishments, but Las Vegas takes it to the extreme. I want some variety--a dingy local pub scene once in a while, or a privately owned grimy diner for breakfast. Not shiny new everything and wait-staff with suspenders.

The entire city is like 10 years old. Before then, the people who actually lived here were just RV owners who got their trailers lost in a bad sandstorm and never left.

Speaking of variety--the scenic things never change either. You either have desert with fine sand or desert with some weird desert plant-growth. And its all hot and dry.
In NYC, you drive 40 minutes and you can get to a beach, walk 5 minutes and see a river, take a subway to a green huge park. But here, you drive 40 minutes and see a cactus, drive another 40 and see a rock, then a bigger rock. Another 5 to see a slighter smaller rock. Then 4 hours to see Los Angeles. How do people do it??

I think its out of desperation. These people moved to Vegas from California and other states to have a better life. But they work at Jack in the Box or drive the airport shuttle. How bad was their life back in their homestate?! At least I moved here and got kind of a decent paying job--but i still hate it! I cant imagine how the guy who moved away from his family and friends to work at the Lord and Taylor Outlet feels.

I dont know--I'll update on how it is. Maybe by the end of the month I'll be brainwashed by the nothingness and start loving it. Stay tuned...