New Years Eve

I was confused, it was cold, balls were dropping...it was puberty all over again. I celebrated down south in Richmond--where the city had their own times square celebration. The city thought "we like what NY does for new years...but its just too organized." People in flannel jackets and 2008 truckers hats were drunk and groping whomever they stumbled upon.
To combat this gaptoothed mob-the city sprung for horse cops...which are cops... but on a horse---were they worried that somebody would rob a train? Aside to catching up to a moving train, theres not much a horse can do besides cripple a superman.

I dont understand why they had law enforcement on a horse---they didnt have any cops with a single shot musket, or any medics standing by with a jar full of leeches, so why the downgrade? They dont look cool, and plus they smell.

So on the top of my 2008 to-do list---is to invent some kind of smell free robohorse.

Beard

Bill- So I grew beard today

Earl- Bill wait.. you mean you grew a beard

Bill- No I just grew beard...beard is what I named this house plant

Earl- I figured..its kind of hard to grow a beard in one day--and plus youre a homo